For the first time ever...

Ella told me "love you!" without prompting today. Usually I have to say "I love you" first, or else coach her somehow. This time, right out of the blue, she said "Love you!". Actually...it went that I handed her a box of raisins. She said "Thank you, Mommy!" and I said "You're welcome, baby!" and she said "Love you!"





Maybe it's silly, but I've been waiting for this day since she was born.

The little bits of magic that make up my girl.

I still rock her to sleep. Every time, without fail. Sure, it's probably the wrong thing to do if I ever want her to learn to fall asleep on her own, but how can I give up that special magical time that we share? I love watching her eyelids get droopier and droopier, and I love how sometimes she'll struggle back up to wakefulness for just a moment and mutter some important note that mustn't be forgotten. Sometimes the note is "da fox! Buddy da fox! Yeah." Sometimes it's something altogether more simple: "Mommydaddy..." followed by a sigh, and then peacefully drifts back to sleep. Oh no...I wouldn't want to miss those notes. Not yet. I need them.

Today Ella is not feeling well. She seems to have a bit of a cold, so I took her into the bathroom to give her some Dimetapp and then to wipe her nose with some toilet paper (note to self: need Kleenex!) and so I sat her on the edge of the sink. She likes to sit there with her feet in the sink and pokes the drain and stopper with her pudgy little toes. She likes to work the stopper pull. Up-down. Up-down. Up. Down. Up. (Grunt of effort... Up!) So as she busied herself with this very intense work (tongue out for added concentration power) I was able to sneak in and wipe her nose. I was myself very preoccupied so I did not notice as she directed her attention to the cold water tap. Surprise! She turned it on with a rush and startled us both quite nicely. Luckily I still had a bit of toilet paper in my hand to wipe the frightened (and somewhat indignant) tears. I mean...how dare it not only startle her, but wet her with such chilly water too!? The nerve!

Trying to keep up...

There are so many gaps, but I promise I will fill them all in. I will also try to keep this a bit more up to date than it has been.

Last night Ryan came over. He brought Ella a cute little T-shirt from his trip, which Ella promptly put on around her neck like a scarf. Every time he comes over, she plays all shy and hides and cries, but after just a few minutes, she's climbing all over him and laughing her guts out at him. Too funny.

Ella got a brand new penguin last night from the Build A Bear workshop. She LOVES him! His name is supposed to be "Mumble" from the movie "Happy Feet" but when we asked HER what his name is, she said "Taaaaa", so Taaaaa it was.

This picture was taken before Miss Ella even had her breakfast. She was just so excited to have a chance to play with him again, I handed him over. She spent some time talking to him, chewing his beak, and even snuggling him. He's awesome. 

A Special Montage

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GUESS WHAT!!!!! Omg omg omg omg omgomgomgomgomg!!

Wednesday!!!
I had my appointment today with the OB. He says that he's concerned about Peanut's size (Why NOW??? Where were YOU four weeks ago, doc??? ) He asked what my feelings were about going late. I told him about my fear of having to labour for hours and hours only to wind up having a c-section because she's so big. He said that's ok. At least you can have a c-section. The worst is when the shoulders get stuck, and the baby's head is out. Then the baby is just stuck and you can't have a c-section. He didn't say what the fix for that would be, but that's an even MORE terrifying thought than the one that was bugging me already! Nice guy, eh? Rargh.

Anyway, after the internal he said I am fingertip dilated already, and my cervix is nice and soft, so he would like us to go in on WEDNESDAY AT 7AM TO BE INDUCED!!!!!! Omg, I can hardly believe it!!

By Thursday, I will have MY BABY IN MY ARMS!!! Good Lord. How am I going to make it through tomorrow? How am I going to sleep tomorrow night???? My baby is coming!! ON WEDNESDAY!!!!!

OMGOMGOMG!!!!

Sooo ready.

I'm doing ok, but I'm ready now. I am just so tired of being unable to stand up without issues, and being unable to bend over without grunting...I'm tired of sore hips, and my sore back, and I am just SOOOO anxious to meet this baby!! I have an OB appointment tonight at 6:45 and although I will have to endure an internal, he is going to be checking whether the baby is engaged and whether we may be able to induce. I am hoping that we can because this kid is BIG and I don't want to add any additional risk of having to have a C-section after labouring for hours, kwim? If we can get her out before she reaches monster proportions, I will be a happy camper. Plus I am just impatient. :P

Trying to get Peanut to hurry up.

Kelly and I went to the mall, and for about 4 hours we just walked and walked. There was only one break for me when we went to Johnny Rocket's for an early dinner, though. Oh, and poor me. I barely fit in the booth!! By the time we left, I had a big line in my tummy where the table edge was. After all that walking I was totally pooped, but guess what. Nada. I was just really sore yesterday like I had done some serious workout or something....my back especially was killin me! At about 11:00pm last night the cramps started up real good. I was getting it once every 45 mins to an hour which is basically nothing except that they were so consistent. Joe was out, so I decided to stay up and wait for him because I was working on something. He FINALLY stumbled home at 3:30 (whole 'nother story), and the cramps had been pretty consistent up to then. I fell asleep at about 4, and that was it. Today nothing so far. Very VERY frustrating.Oh well...from 10pm when Joe went out until he came home, I managed to knock out 8 receiving blankets, another decorative little pillow, a throw blanket, and two nursing pillows. At least I was productive, even if Peanut wasn't!

I find out tonight at my appointment what the plan of attack will be. I get to have an internal. YAY! I think if he finds that she is engaged and I am 'getting there' he will consider inducing. Hopefully SOOOOOON. I am worried by the Baby Stories I see when the mom is labouring for hours and hours and hours and just can't do it and the baby has to be born via c-section. I would rather try and have her before she reaches astronomical proportions so as to hopefully minimize the risk of being in that position! Ok, if I have to have one I have to have one, but if I can cut my risk factors, that would be nice too!

As to Joe coming home late, he was at the mercy of the group since he didn't drive, so that I can sorta excuse, but the condition he came home in was reprehensible. He couldn't walk, only stagger. I hadn't seen him that drunk since his stag, and then he wound up sitting on the couch telling me he felt sick from it. "Well serves you right, you bum!!" I told him. Then he fell asleep on the couch and that was that. But imagine if something HAD happened! How would I explain that to the doctors at the hospital? "Yeah, he's drunk. Give ME any information directly" Omg. How shameful! The thing is, he really IS genuinely excited, and he just thought it was the last chance he would have to go out with the boys and really paint the town. I can see that, but still. Ugh. I was mad, what can I say. When he's sober, I have never seen him more excited, though. He talks to my belly and tells her to come out. He calls me a couple times a day from work to ask me how I'm doing. "Anything yet?" is his phrase of the moment. I just can't wait till I can say "Yes...come home!" to that one.

The Pointy Thing

Peanut has what we call "the pointy thing" and it can always be found by touching my belly. The funny thing about 'the pointy thing' is that as soon as you touch it, it moves away. Fun times.

OB Appointment Yesterday

Yesterday was supposed to be (in my mind, anyway) the big appointment where we decide if I will be induced early or not. I had to get my doctor's office to refax the information from the last u/s I had done, and we were supposed to look at the results yesterday and go from there.

Well.

I don't think we are any further decided than we were before. Turns out, though, that Peanut is in the 75th percentile for size. That means she was bigger than 75% of babies of her gestational age at the time, so the doctor asked me what I would like to do. I said I wanted to rock and roll, and have the baby before I run the risk of her becoming too big for me to deliver without surgery. His answer? Um, ok then. Let's do an internal next week and check how things are coming along. We'll check if she has come farther down, then too. See you Monday. Keep out of trouble. The end. Grrrr. I don't feel as if any progress was made at all. Oh well. Peanut could always come on her own before then, although I am not allowed to go into labour on Wednesday or early Thursday as per my mom. Poor mom is so mad because her boss is making her go on a business trip this week. She'll be back by 8pm Thursday, though, so Joe keeps saying "Ok, no problem. Thursday night we go into labour, and Ella will be born on Friday. Done deal." Oh if only it were that easy!!! Friday is our ideal day to have her, though. It's Nana's birthday...the one she's named after. Wouldn't that be cool for them to have the same name AND birthday?? So cross your fingers for me that Joe's plan can somehow miraculously come to fruition!!

Ho Hum.

Got an OB appointment this afternoon. Should start getting ready soon, but I am too busy being a bump on a log. Room is ready. Bags are packed. Drawers are stocked. Daddy is ready. Mommy is ready. Enough waiting already. Bring on the BABY!!! Raspberry leaf tea, castor oil...I don't care what it takes, but something's gotta give! My belly skin hurts and it looks like a train wreck. I can't stand up without grunting and groaning and half the time Joe has to help me. I want to be able to walk more than three feet without baby squashing my bladder into an uncomfortable raisin. I want to wear proper shoes....I want to see my baby! I want to hold and cuddle and smell my baby! No more comfy tummy for you, Peanut. You are hereby evicted!! COME ON PEANUT!!! I WANT TO SEEE YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!